by Quest Voice

Today my voice went dancing.

I took the natural singer workshop with Claude Stein at the Open Center in New York.

As I browsed the internet for a natural approach to voice and singing instruction, I found him, amongst many others. I had a “feeling” about this one though. He seemed, like the right choice, for some reason. Well, let me tell you, follow your intuition!

It was a workshop from 10am – 6pm. I am utterly exhausted. In a good way. I cried so much today, it’s not even funny. We all did. We cried, and we sang. Quietly, in fear at first, and then full on. We let go, we had fun. One by one, in front of everyone, to one another coupled up. All together.

Most people in the class were not singers. Each and every one of the students, had a story. The story identifying the roots of an inhibition, a fear, and a dream. There were bankers, former bankers, teachers, mothers, psychiatrists, massage therapists, a neuroscientist and many more.

The neuroscientist had a gift. A voice of an angel. Besides instinctively enjoying “relaxing her scientist colleagues by a performance at a holiday party”, she was also wondering about a connection or a possible application of her experiences as a “singer” and her research in the field of neuroscience. I should actually try to stay in touch with her, and see, what she scientifically discovers.

Ok, nuff’ of that. Do you know, what made the biggest difference for every single one of us? Guess…

INTENTION

Dedicating the song to a feeling, a longing, someone, anyone. Getting rid of self-consciousness. At first, we were coupled up, and I was only singing to my “partner”. Dedicating the words and melody to her, was enlightening. Our teacher called it “the emotional warm-up”. I understood, in that moment, looking at my “angel”, an older lady, who works as a speech pathologist, that I was giving her a gift. She went first. She sang to, and for me. From the bottom of her heart. I received an embrace of a song. When it was my turn, I understood, that being self-conscious, getting overpowered or paralyzed by fear, would be hurting HER. It would be denying her the GIFT. So I sang FOR her. From the bottom of my HEART. Words of encouragement, praise, love, faith. I could not think of my own “incompetence”, there was no time. So I sang to her, as best I could, with tears and all. I know, you guys must think by now, that I am some sort of insane drama-queen. Just crying all the time. But you try it, and see what happens. I dare you!

With this exercise, and seeing everyone else opening up before me, the transformation, that each person underwent just by “giving it up”, going for it, allowing themselves to have fun, be bigger, louder, more expressive; made me “jump”. When it was my turn, I got up. I did not utter any excuses, I did not hesitate, and I started singing. One other thing, that resonated for me and did not allow me to utterly sabotage myself this time, was, when my teacher, Claude, advised all of us, to be more

HONEST

You see, it is easy to put yourself down, letting the less than positive feelings overpower you, giving in to the fear, frustration, self-consciousness. Allowing them to take over, to rule you, is not being truly honest. I mean, really, we all WANT to sing. So If you are being honest, you will allow yourself to have some fun with it. Not feel so damn’ sorry for yourself. I certainly wasn’t going to lie to myself, reduce myself by giving into a cheap cheesy self-pitying, childish, false attention seeking fear. So I sang.

I could feel my audience. I felt the support. The love. Gradually, my teacher encouraged me to sing louder and bigger, adding some movement, making it larger, which freed me to go for it. I sang, like I never sang in front of anyone. Like I do often, at home. Alone. It felt good. I felt so happy! I really went for it. I sang for all of them. And I danced, too. I felt I was giving them a gift. And you know, the feeling of giving a gift? A lot of times, you might be as happy as the person receiving it. In the end, I got praised. Even though, the audience was only allowed to praise, no “negative” critique was allowed, the compliments, if you will, still meant a lot to me. Words like “you are so in your body and your voice went right through you, once you allowed yourself”, “a goddess was born right before me…”, now, these are comments of some weight for someone, who only whispers a “happy birthday song”, not to ruin it, and has never attempted Karaoke. Ever.

My parting words: You know, the advice “sing like no one’s listening”? Now, this might be partially helpful, but I am gonna say what I think: Sing like everyone’s listening! Sing for yourself AND for them. Share with them. Don’t deny yourself. Dare. Inspire. Love. Give. Accept.

Because YOU too, are a gift!